Back in the Zone

For fans of first-person shooters (or FPS, if you want to be one of the cool kids), February 22 was quite the Tuesday. Both the multi-platform Bulletstorm and the Playstation 3 exclusive Killzone 3 were released to a lot of fanfare. Bulletstorm seemed to garner the most attention due to its unique point system and extremely raunchy script. The eye-catching visuals and the lure of being rewarded for shooting an enemy in the netheregions didn't hurt, either.

However, there wasn't much of a choice for Amanda and I. Not only had we already played the Bulletstorm demo and found it lacking, it also didn't include a campaign that was playable in co-op. Neither one of us is a huge fan of PvP multiplayer in FPSs, so when we look for a game to play together we want to be able to go through the story together. Apparently Bulletstorm originally had a co-op campaign, but it was removed due to people being able to rush through the game and thus not use the point-gathering system all that much.

That's right, the co-op campaign was removed because you didn't have to rack up points by using a rocket launcher on another man's crotch. Let that one sink in for a minute.

Luckily, we had both fallen in love with Killzone 3's co-op offering from the moment that we had downloaded the demo. It was easy to see that the game was designed with multiplayer in mind. Granted it's a bit awkward if you take into account that the second player doesn't actually show up in the cutscenes and thus some of the story doesn't make any sense, but when was the last time that you played a FPS for the story? If you want story, go play Final Fantasy XIII for the ninth time.

Now that we've had a chance to play through the entire game, what's the verdict?

The first thing you notice when you start up the game is just how good the thing looks. The environments have been lovingly crafted; everything from the broken steps of the Helghast capital to the raging blizzard on a glacier are nearly perfect. The character animations, both your ISA teammates and the enemy Helghast armies, are fluid and realistic.

Co-op is done via an offset pair of boxes, much like Lost Planet 2. I know that some people detest this as opposed to the more classic split screen, but I'm not one of those people. The offset style makes it easier to follow what's happening around you due to not being distracted by the other player's screen nearly as often, and it just simply feels more natural.

The story is a bit of a weak point, as it is with pretty much every other FPS. I've read people complaining that the story is predictable or that there isn't much character development. My response to that is simple: name five FPSs that have a terrific plot. The Halo series definitely doesn't. Most of the Call of Duty games are just slapped together snippets of various conflicts. That's absolutely fine, however. The story isn't the reason we play these types of games.

The reason that we do is the action. Killzone 3 offers plenty of this from every angle. It also manages to keep the encounters varied enough that you don't grow bored with them. The tight controls and intense fights make this game a joy to plow your way through. My only complaint about the gameplay is that it isn't really anything new. Most of the fights, even those done via vehicles, have been done before in other games, sometimes done better. Luckily Killzone 3's pacing is done well enough that this doesn't taint the experience overly much.  My one major regret is that there aren't more large-scale boss fights like the truly epic encounter with the MAWLR.

The campaign is fun while it lasts, but it is a bit short. This seems to be a common trait these days, as most shooters are being made with multiplayer in mind. It really is a shame, because there's certainly an audience for non-competitive multiplayer out there for companies to market to it. The success of games like Resistance: Fall of Man are a testament to this.

Still, even with the minor drawbacks, Killzone 3 is one of the best FPS games available. It's strange that there hasn't been more hype for this game, as some of you may remember the huge marketing campaigns for the first two games. Touted as the Halo killers, they were pushed to the moon and the final products fell a bit short. Killzone 3, however, with far less fanfare, may have finally achieved this, as it is undoubtedly a stronger all-around game than Halo Reach. It's more than enough to keep couples that like to game together busy until Portal 2 hits the shelves this month.

Rating: 8.7/10

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Zombies Come to Life in Novel, Devour Writer

Awesome cover, am I right? What can I say, I'm cheap!

So anyway, yeah, here's the link to your ONE HUNDRED PERCENT FREE copy of Zombies by the Numbers: The Writer's Cut. It's a story about struggle, a story about enduring, and a story about the triumph of the human spirit. Plus a whole lot of dead people being butchered by a serial killer that's so insane, he knows that you're reading the book.

Also, the book cures cancer and is third in line to become the king of Poland*. You'd be stupid not to download this!

This is not a book for children or people easily offended.  If you fall into one of those categories, you will want to move on.http://www.scribd.com/doc/50097569


*Warning: book may or may not cure cancer, may or may not be royalty, and may or may not cause erectile disfunction.

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The Muppets Take the Spragues

Most family movie nights tend to be one of two things: a night spent watching a movie that the kids picked out, or a night spent with a movie playing in the background while everyone ignores it.

Not this time, though. This time, Mom and Dad chose the movie, and it was a doozy.

Remember the Muppet Show? If you're under the age of twenty-one, probably not. Even if you're past that age you might not be able to recall the sheer awesomeness that was Jim Henson's triumph. However, even if the show itself doesn't ring any bells, you'll probably recognize some of the names that appeared on it. Miss Piggy. Gonzo. Fozzie the Bear. The Swedish Chef. Bunsen and Beaker. Kermit the freakin' Frog. Yes, the best list of (puppet) celebrities ever assembled graced the stage on the Muppet Show.

The list of real flesh-and-blood guests wasn't too shabby, either. Everyone from Mark Hamill to Peter Sellers put in appearances. Even the great Raquel Welch paid a visit, and she had such a big impact that our soon-to-be-four-years-old son apparently now has a crush on her.

We didn't have the heart to tell him that she's been around for seven decades now.

Fun was had by all, especially after Amanda laid out our special movie night feast.

Yes, that's cotton candy in the bowl. Also known as Fluffy Goodness.

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Imagine Having to Parent These Kids

Thanks to the announcement that F3AR (or F.E.A.R. 3, for those not in the know) will include an asymmetrical co-op campaign, the wife and I are on the edge of our seats waiting for this bad boy to drop in May. What's asymmetrical co-op, you ask? Good question, because until I looked it up, I had no idea myself. Basically what it boils down to is that instead of each player having the same character with a different skin, each player instead controls one of two characters that are completely different from each other. One of them is the usual Random Guy with Guns #6, but the other controls a nutjob whose powers look like the Darkness mixed with laser tag.

If you're a fan of the F.E.A.R. franchise, you already know that most of the horror comes from one source: the always scary and often disturbing Alma (no, our daughter's middle name was not inspired by her). Think the girl from The Ring. Now give that girl evil superpowers. Yeah, not a good combination to be on the wrong end of.

Is Alma the scariest small child in popular culture, though? Let's face it, some of the scariest moments, whether they were in film, television, books, or video games, revolve around creepy children. For my money, here's the top five freakiest kids.

5.  Isaac from Children of the Corn

So here's the deal. Not only is Isaac more than a little creepy to begin with, he also happens to be a prophet/preacher for a demonic entity known as He Who Walks the Rows. Don't let the Amish Kung Lao hat fool you; this kid is evil, and he wants to sacrifice you to prove it.

4.  The Grady Sisters from The Shining

Have you heard the news? Bad things come in twos. Terrible reference to Wanted aside, the Grady sisters are one of those classic scary movie moments that people still talk about to this day. The twin daughters of the Overlook Hotel's former caretaker, they were brutally murdered by their father when he got a touch of the crazies thanks to the crazy factory that is the Overlook. That doesn't stop them from showing up in matching dresses and casually suggesting that young Danny play with them... forever.

3.  Samara from The Ring

It's very possible that Samara should be further up the list. After all, she's frightened millions with her crawling out of the television act and that whole “kill you in seven days” thing. When “The Ring” was released, she was a completely different kind of villain than moviegoers were used to. Instead of some elaborate monster dripping with gore, she was simply a soaking-wet young girl in a nondescript gown. The only reason that she doesn't place higher is because Hollywood has run the “Samara Look” into the ground. Still, if anyone tells you that they didn't feel at least a tiny bit creeped out the first time he or she saw Samara crawl through that screen, it's a good bet that person is lying.

2.  Alma from the F.E.A.R. Series

Of course she made the list. Alma accomplishes something that the vast majority of horror characters can't: she somehow gets freakier the more that she appears. Usually the impact of a monster lessens the more you see it (it's the Reverse Jaws Principle), but Alma just gets creepier and more disturbing by the moment. I won't ruin the ending for anyone, but at the end of F.E.A.R. 2, she takes evil to a whole new level.

1. The blond kids from Village of the Damned

Okay, first off, there are these kids that are all blond, have glowing eyes, and can kill you with a single stare. Worst of all, there's an entire townful of these murderous pre-teens. The picture above says it all, but also keep in mind this horrible fact: these kids went up against SUPERMAN (well, Christopher Reeves, but he'll always be Superman to me!).

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