Imagine Having to Parent These Kids

Thanks to the announcement that F3AR (or F.E.A.R. 3, for those not in the know) will include an asymmetrical co-op campaign, the wife and I are on the edge of our seats waiting for this bad boy to drop in May. What's asymmetrical co-op, you ask? Good question, because until I looked it up, I had no idea myself. Basically what it boils down to is that instead of each player having the same character with a different skin, each player instead controls one of two characters that are completely different from each other. One of them is the usual Random Guy with Guns #6, but the other controls a nutjob whose powers look like the Darkness mixed with laser tag.

If you're a fan of the F.E.A.R. franchise, you already know that most of the horror comes from one source: the always scary and often disturbing Alma (no, our daughter's middle name was not inspired by her). Think the girl from The Ring. Now give that girl evil superpowers. Yeah, not a good combination to be on the wrong end of.

Is Alma the scariest small child in popular culture, though? Let's face it, some of the scariest moments, whether they were in film, television, books, or video games, revolve around creepy children. For my money, here's the top five freakiest kids.

5.  Isaac from Children of the Corn

So here's the deal. Not only is Isaac more than a little creepy to begin with, he also happens to be a prophet/preacher for a demonic entity known as He Who Walks the Rows. Don't let the Amish Kung Lao hat fool you; this kid is evil, and he wants to sacrifice you to prove it.

4.  The Grady Sisters from The Shining

Have you heard the news? Bad things come in twos. Terrible reference to Wanted aside, the Grady sisters are one of those classic scary movie moments that people still talk about to this day. The twin daughters of the Overlook Hotel's former caretaker, they were brutally murdered by their father when he got a touch of the crazies thanks to the crazy factory that is the Overlook. That doesn't stop them from showing up in matching dresses and casually suggesting that young Danny play with them... forever.

3.  Samara from The Ring

It's very possible that Samara should be further up the list. After all, she's frightened millions with her crawling out of the television act and that whole “kill you in seven days” thing. When “The Ring” was released, she was a completely different kind of villain than moviegoers were used to. Instead of some elaborate monster dripping with gore, she was simply a soaking-wet young girl in a nondescript gown. The only reason that she doesn't place higher is because Hollywood has run the “Samara Look” into the ground. Still, if anyone tells you that they didn't feel at least a tiny bit creeped out the first time he or she saw Samara crawl through that screen, it's a good bet that person is lying.

2.  Alma from the F.E.A.R. Series

Of course she made the list. Alma accomplishes something that the vast majority of horror characters can't: she somehow gets freakier the more that she appears. Usually the impact of a monster lessens the more you see it (it's the Reverse Jaws Principle), but Alma just gets creepier and more disturbing by the moment. I won't ruin the ending for anyone, but at the end of F.E.A.R. 2, she takes evil to a whole new level.

1. The blond kids from Village of the Damned

Okay, first off, there are these kids that are all blond, have glowing eyes, and can kill you with a single stare. Worst of all, there's an entire townful of these murderous pre-teens. The picture above says it all, but also keep in mind this horrible fact: these kids went up against SUPERMAN (well, Christopher Reeves, but he'll always be Superman to me!).